Worse side of me

Another bad day for my girlfriend. I was so pissed off at nothing, that I scolded her royally. I insulted her. Why?

Is it because she is the only one whom I can rule, or where I can express all my frustration? Too convenient to call it frustration, isn't it?

But a deeper thought revealed me later... something that never occurred to me before. And I was instantly happy at the thought. Rather was relieved to have found the reason behind my emotional outbursts.

It came to me that, in the fear of hurting the person in front, I would just suppress my real feelings and would not show my dislike on my face or in my action. Rather I would just say "it's ok! " . And it's perfectly opposite what I would be thinking at that moment.

Why do I suppress my dislike or negative feelings? Is it worth really? Will it save my face in front of others if I dont reveal my negative feelings in front of them? I am yet to find that out.

But one thing for sure. I am not going to insult my girlfriend like that anymore. I appreciate her strength to withstand my anger. I love her. And will love her always.

Amen!